Why Are We Doing This?

While Brian and I joke that this is our mid-life crises (but how nice that we are including the kids!), I have been dreaming of a trip like this for a few years. I thought long and hard about WHY this trip is so important to me.  I wrote down my "whys" early last summer, and refer back to them whenever I start second-guessing our decision. It always reminds me that we are making the right choice!

1. I want to really understand the places we learn about. The most engaging way to learn about history is to see where the actual history took place.  Reading books with the kids about the places that we will go will help to teach the kids and us about our world and make it seem more real.  Personally, I am much more interested in places that I have been – it will allow me the chance to be immersed as well. 
2. I want my kids to not just be interesting people, but interested people. While I hope that my children will lead interesting and exciting lives, I also want my kids to also have an innate curiosity in the world and the people they meet. They come from a loud, self-focused family – I hope that we all learn to focus on others as much as on ourselves.   I have always been more interested in the human aspects of stories than in the big news stories themselves – while I hope they will be interested in both, I want them to understand that behind everything they see, there are some great human interest stories waiting to be discovered.
3. I want them to have the sense that we live in both a big world, and a small world  I love the dichotomy that exists   in our world – we sing about “It’s a Small World” and we constantly look for common ground, but at the same time, we acknowledge that people around the world can be polar opposites of ourselves.  My hope is that understanding how to work within this contradiction will help them work well with others.  We hear often that the Internet is making the world smaller – but I want them to also understand the grandiosity that is our planet.
4. I want them to see what it is like to go somewhere without knowing the language or the culture – to learn to fit in somewhere that feels uncomfortable to them.  In our daily lives, we see people all the time who are struggling to fit into what we consider our normal life. Going places where we feel uncomfortable, and seeing what others go through on a daily basis, often in search of a better life, will help us develop empathy in a way we have not had to yet.
5. I want them to think exploration and curiosity for other cultures is normal.  While I do not expect that they will be utterly fascinated with each place we go, I do hope that they learn how to learn about cultures – and retain a love for learning about others that extends beyond this trip.
6. I want them to be confident and independent – no matter what situation they are put in.  One of my favorite things about travel is that it allows people to be challenged without their typical luxuries to fall back on. Putting children (and adults) into situations where they have no choice but to solve their problems is terrific for self-esteem and independence.  I am already seeing this in my kids – and I want to foster it even more. One reason I think this will be a great age for this kind of trip is that we can give them a level of independence and freedom that we wouldn’t be able to do when they were younger.
7. I want them to learn how to meet others who come from completely different cultures – learn to find common ground and build relationships.  The first question the kids asked when we first proposed this trip was, “what about soccer?”  Having a soccer ball with them will serve (at least) two purposes: 1) give them a comfort item wherever we might be, but more importantly, 2) show them that sometimes all it takes to initiate conversations and relationships is a ball – I know that they will meet other kids (and adults) when they start juggling the ball, or kicking it amongst themselves.  
8. I want our family to have shared experiences – good and bad – that help us get to know each other outside the stress and business of our daily lives.  I am not so jaded as to believe that this trip will change the often-challenging family dynamic that exists for us (and all families raising kids). I do, however, believe that a lot of the tension comes from external responsibilities, and that putting effort into our time as a unit will draw us closer – even if we don’t see the results of it right away.  Do I think that we will have many moments on this trip when we think it is a mistake and want nothing more than time apart? Of course. But I know that we will have ups and downs whether or not we take this trip – so why not learn to get through these bumps on a more interesting path.
9. I want to instill a love (and need) for travel that will stick with them.  There are few things that make me more excited than adventures – big or small. I love the feeling of arriving at an airport or train station, knowing we are about to begin a journey.  I love figuring out a solution when things do not go as planned.  I love flipping through books and magazines and seeing destinations that I have thought about, or never heard of, or visited before and remember well.  I hope that my kids will have the same never-ending sense of wanderlust.
10. I want them to see the beauty in a variety of landscapes – from a big city, to a deserted island, to a rainforest, to a small village – without feeling the need to choose one that defines them.  I love trips where we see a little of everything – big city, countryside, beaches, etc. I want them to feel comfortable in the streets of a bustling metropolis, in the “middle of nowhere” where we have to entertain ourselves, in a suburban neighborhood, etc.  While I believe that each of our natural temperaments tends to lead us to favor one type of environment over others, I want them to figure out how to survive and thrive in each.
11. I want them to realize how lucky they are – and the responsibility of their privilege.  We are not running away from our lives – we are simply choosing to live temporarily in a way that is very different than the way we have been. We live a very comfortable life – surrounded by family and friends, attending good schools that teach them both academics and values, spending weekends playing sports and being with people we care about, challenged daily in our quest to bring up good kids.  But until they really see the world, they can’t understand exactly how lucky they are.  I want them to understand that what is the most basic parts of their existence (drinkable water, shelter, clothing) is not basic for others – and that part of our responsibility as citizens of this planet is to make sure that all humans’ most basic needs are being met. 
12. I want them to know how to both feel pride in, and question, where they come from.  I believe that America is an amazing, wonderful country, and that we should be grateful for our lives in the “land of the free.” However, I think that understanding the anti-American backlash that we have seen in the past few decades is important – and that there is intrinsic value in being able to both love and question where we come from.  In my view, it is the same way we should feel about our parents (and our kids): uncompromised love, but also the ability to disagree without feeling like you are being disloyal.
13. I want them to understand why different people have different opinions – and that steadfastness in their beliefs is not the same as being right.  I hope that my children will learn how to form opinions and stick to them when they feel strongly about a subject – but I also want them to be able to understand why others feel differently.    Seeing how others live will help them understand how others’ values and ideals are shaped.  We can feel 100% convinced that we are correct in our viewpoints, but we need to understand where others come from in order to understand why they feel that their opinion is 100% correct.
14. I want them to want to try new things at least once before deciding whether or not they like it.  My kids vary in their adventurousness – but none of them (nor my husband) are good at trying new foods. This WILL change, even if it kills me. I hope that they learn to try all foods at least one time – and that this newfound adventurousness will carry over to other things in their lives.
15. I want them to smell, see, hear, touch, taste things they never would get to in their typical lives.  There is nothing like being somewhere where every sense is being challenged. I want them to “feel” the travel in a visceral way – and be reminded of this trip through sounds, tastes, etc. as they get older.
16. I want all of us to learn to do not just what is typical or expected of us.  I have always been a rule-following, usually conforming kind of person. I rarely break from the herd, or challenge authority, or even look to be different.  My desire for this journey is less about being different and more about going outside my comfort zone – while not always pleasant, it is where I will find the most growth as a person.